by Jerry Wall, Director of Team Support
Imagine a friend asking, "So, how are things going at your church?" What would your answer be? For many of us, there's probably the "polite" answer and the "real" answer. The "real" answer is a lot messier and full of conflict than most of us would like to admit.
Conflict is a part of all our lives: our families, our work environments and our churches. Let me tell you how one church, Christ Our Hope in Wake Forest, NC, would have answered the "How's it going?" question a few years ago:
- Larry is a married father of three young boys. His wife had never fully adjusted to the changes resulting from their cross-country move to North Carolina and wanted to divorce him, take the boys and move back home.
- Jennifer is the mother of two little girls. Jennifer's boyfriend, the father of her children, want ed nothing to do with their children and had been walking in and out of their lives for years.
- Jane had a terrible relationship with her grown step-daughter: the step-daughter hated Jane for "replacing" her mother. Jane and her step-daughter had refused to even speak to each other for over thirty years.
- David and his wife, struggling for years due to financial struggles, were on the brink of divorce. David even attempted to begin a relationship his wife's best friend.
Wow! How's it going? Not well! But that's not the end of the story...
Due to the mighty work of the Holy Spirit, in part through Christ Our Hope's peacemaking team, each of the people mentioned above have experienced significant and meaningful reconciliation.
- Larry's wife persevered and stayed with her family. She and Larry reconciled and are now living peacefully in Wake Forest with their three children. They frequently help other couples reconcile their marriages.
- Jennifer reconciled with her boyfriend and together they repented of their past actions and attitudes. Eventually they were married. Now their two girls are growing up with their mommy and daddy under one roof!
- Jane repented of her own attitude toward her daughter-in-law over the last 30 years and reconciled with her. Now they talk all the time!
- David and his wife both repented of sinful actions in their marriage and were completely reconciled. They now report that they "enjoy a transf ormed marriage based on the hope of the gospel."
How did these reconciliations come about? Convinced of the value of biblical peacemaking, the pastor oversaw the formation of a peacemaking team for the church. The team began by reading The Peacemaker, and David, the team leader, writes:
"During this time, we really bonded together as a team. By helping each other implement the peacemaking principles into our own lives, it was a period of real growth for all of us. By the time we finished, each one of us had a strong personal testimony of how our own life and relationships had been transformed. We took these testimonies to our congregation--each one of us standing up during the church service and simply talking about our own journey."
Taking it church-wide
While the team had some great personal stories, how did they begin changing the culture of the church? Each team member led a Peacemaker Ministries Small Group Study with all the small groups in the church. During this time, the entire church really began to be transformed. David says:
"The effect on the congregation was enormous. Sons and daughters have reconciled with their parents, broken families have been rebuilt and friends have been reunited. Peacemaking has become a part of the atmosphere in our church body. It's not just a novelty or a 't heme of the month,' but an ongoing ministry to each other. Peace is part of everyday conversation and the stories are being told and retold."
Getting Your Church Started 120 churches have decided to intentionally pursue peacemaking by forming a registered peacemaking team with Peacemaker Ministries. I would love to answer any questions you may have about forming a team for your church or getting support for your existing team. Just drop me an email at team@peacemaker.net or call me at 406.256.1583 x113. --- Jerry |
The team at David's church was used by God in two important functions:
teaching and
assisting. They helped teach the basics of biblical peacemaking across the church using small group studies, and then actively assisted others by coaching and encouraging them or even assisting in mediation.
Can it happen at your church?
You might think this transformation sounds too good to be true. Can it happen at your church? Well, the God who raised Jesus from the dead certainly has the resurrection power to bring dead relationships back to life. What should y ou do to start? We asked David. Here's his answer:
"Just begin! You don't need to have everyone on board at first. Just one or two people can begin making a difference! As soon as you can, form a group of two to four people and begin reading The Peacemaker and watching the Small Group Study videos together. Invite your pastors and elders to read and watch along with you. (If your pastors don't fully support you at first, don't worry; eventually they will see the fruit of your peacemaking and praise God for it.) After reading the book, apply, apply, and apply! Then give your personal testimonies to as many others in your church as possible. As you gain the support of your leaders, your peacemaking team can then work to engage others in peacemaking. Do all you can to proclaim the gospel through biblical peacemaking! You will be surprised at how the Holy Spirit will work!"
From a student: "Daily, there are conflicts over important things as well as silly ones. The workbook has taught me alternatives to resolve properly the difficulties and conflicts, such as talking, trusting others, receiving counsel... [I have learned] not to flee problems but to confront them with courage and God by our side." 
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