by Tara Barthel

Who likes confession? You know--The Seven A's, owning up to our failures and weaknesses, privately and sometimes even publicly acknowledging our sins? Sound like fun? No way!

Even Jesus' words in Matthew 7:5 on this topic can make us cringe, can't they?

"You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."

Who likes to be called a hypocrite? Not me!

But when it comes to honestly sharing with another person the depth of our selfishness, laziness, addictions, lusts, and unbelief ... aren't we all hypocrites? Aren't we all tempted to put on that "good show" and live the fake "Christian" life that is merely an illusion of self-righteousness? Ken Sande writes in The Peacemaker:

"As we reflect on and rejoice in the gospel of Christ, two things happen. Our pride and defensiveness is stripped away, and we can let go of our illusion of self-righteousness, honestly examine ourselves, and find freedom from guilt and sin by admitting our wrongs. At the same time, the gospel shows us how important reconciliation is to God, which inspires us to do everything we can to repair any harm we have caused to others and to be reconciled to those we have offended. This restoration process involves four activities: repentance, self-examination, confession, and personal change."

Our prayer requests at Bible studies tend to be for our sick grandmothers or for missionaries a continent away--but we rarely turn to our brother or sister in Christ and ask for their help because our child is rebelling; our marriage is crumbling; we're questioning God's goodness; we can't seem to put down that (fill in the blank ...) doughnut, Blackberry, prescription drug, laptop, illicit book or magazine (and on and on).

Why oh why don't we confess? And get help? Many times it's because we think we're the only ones. No one else in our church knows what it's like to have a teenage daughter (the "good girl!") headed toward drug addiction. Your husband is the only one in the church to ever struggle with pornography. No one else could ever understand! Your marriage is on the rocks? You're the only one! Every other couple communicates great and feels as emotionally connected as the day they said, "I do!"

Right. Sure. Whatever you say.

I like to call the temptation to think this way the myth of chronic uniqueness. We continually think we're the only ones--we're chronically unique--and so we hide and never get real with our brothers and sisters around us.

But Ken is right, of course. The gospel frees us to be real, to confess, and to find freedom! Not because we have it all together--but because so great is our sin that it required Jesus to die. And so great is God's love, that he sent his only Son, who was condemned in our place. So we do not need to hide, for there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

And the person sitting next to us in the pew? They are just as messed up and desperate for the Savior as we are. So let's set aside this myth of chronic uniqueness and run to him together!

Tara Barthel (www.TaraBarthel.com) is a former attorney and director at Peacemaker Ministries, co-author of Peacemaking Women--Biblical Hope for Resolving Conflict, and author of our new Women's Study video series.